How To Stop Being A Jealous Person – Let’s start by saying that I am not a social outcast. I usually tend to listen and observe, and although I’ve gotten better socially over the years, it’s still something that doesn’t come naturally.
On the other hand, my best friend is very friendly and generally social as easily as she breathes and needless to say when visiting friends, going on dates and so on. It was very successful when it happened. Logically I know it shouldn’t bother me and I shouldn’t compare myself to anyone else, but seeing him do all these things with such ease still bothers me and ultimately makes me rich.
How To Stop Being A Jealous Person
I know these feelings aren’t good and I don’t want to risk ruining the best friendship I’ve ever had. So how can I control or overcome my jealousy?
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Soooo man WIDDITS, I could have written this letter in my teens and 20s. I went there to do it and made a career out of it.
Growing up I was in the same situation as you. While dealing with undiagnosed ADHD doesn’t really help, I am very antisocial. I
(I mean I’m approaching online dating with girls I meet who have a “date” feature on their BBS system, but that means these relationships last more than a week and a half. In person, too. Obviously, they’re both angry and the attitude me to you two is still embarrassing…)
What makes it worse is that my good friend Miles (not his real name) is always involved. Miles is one of those guys who exudes charm like Chernobyl society. It is not enough to be attractive and naturally beautiful
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. But I have to be mad at him because when it comes to girls he has great talent in almost every aspect I’m afraid. He was so attractive that he was dangerous to VHS electronics and tapes, while I… wasn’t. And like you, I couldn’t see when he was around.
As a child I did good things for myself. But still, in a true way, it was Miles who set me on the path to where I am today. Like literally. Instead, the woman I was dating ended up with him, which led me to find Neil Strauss.
Join and eventually leave the PUA community. So I have Miles to thank for most of my life now… even if that was me back then.
All these stories, time and perspective changed the way I look at those days and have been conscious ever since. Well, I was working with the best information I had at the time, but it was still a bit awkward. However
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That means I’m probably the best person to address this issue because you can benefit from it.
So I’ll tell you what I’ve learned over the years. It is important to treat them all as a whole because they are all interrelated. It might seem like nice, calorie-free dating advice, but I promise you: If you do these lessons, you’ll not only learn not to get mad at your friends, but you’ll improve your friendships.
The first thing you need to understand is this: life is not a zero-sum game. The success and social comfort of your friends will not rob you or your chances. Sure
Think to yourself, “Well, if you’re not here, I’ll have a chance.” But there’s one thing we’re still forgetting: the women he’s talking to are also people with agencies, passions, and interests… and all of that is part of what draws them to him. Not only out and charming, but
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In particular. It’s not like they’re interested in anyone, but he’s the best choice in the room. I’m talking about what they like
Even if it looks like a comment to you, it’s not. Think about it; How many girls do you see every day that you find unattractive, especially if there are women you like?
Do you like the people around you? You are not despised by others or consider them inferior or inhumane, you just don’t feel it
For them. This does not make them less or worse than your loved ones. Just because you don’t like people doesn’t make you shallow or less of a good person. They just don’t have any
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From your friends or that their success makes you different. He’s very good at meeting and interacting with people who like him…people who don’t often like you for reasons that come to mind.
You have the ability to experience your own success and your own love. You can find success even with people your friends may be interested in. His presence and presence in your life does not take you away. You are on a parallel path, but there is a clear difference.
This really brings us to the second point; It comes down to this: You will not achieve his success because you are not living his life. You live your own life, and that means you won’t suffer the same forces and changes that make him that person.
So. If you repeat everything he did and try to do everything he did, you will get a completely different result. It’s as if no one can continue his success.
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Succeed because you are lonely like him. To succeed, you must live his life.
An object that exists in a particular time and place is part of what makes it what it is. An impact that no one can observe or plan for. You are equally affected by infinite circumstances that you never knew or controlled.
So instead of being jealous of her and resenting what you don’t have, accept that her situation is different than yours and her journey is the same. You don’t have to be him. You should be
And find success in a way that fits your personality, values and interests. These will be different from him and that.
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. The problem here isn’t that you want what he has, you think of it as something you have to measure. And he isn’t. His success is not your yardstick. It may not be what you want or need. It feels like
. Your friends like Miles didn’t come out of the womb as adorable animals. He learned these skills just like everyone else. He may have gifts that make it easier for him to learn these skills and circumstances that make it easier for him to learn them from you…but he still has to learn them. Does the fact that you learn these things later than him mean that there is something wrong with you? No, it means there is and is not a universal standard. You are on your own path and your own timeline; It is a mistake to look to others as general guidelines.
. It’s a matter of learning and applying, applying that knowledge, making mistakes and learning from them. For many years I believed in dating; You’re either good with women or you’re not and there’s nothing you can do about it. For all the poison I was swimming in when I joined the PUA community, I have to give them credit: they taught me that this is one thing.
Treat women well. I learned how to be more social, how to talk to women, how to flirt and how to present myself in the most polite way. Miles may have learned this before I did, and there may have been some starting bonus I didn’t know about … but I learned it anyway. And when I realized it was happening
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I can. Can I be as good as him one day? I have no idea, but it doesn’t matter because “good” is a ridiculous meter in this case. What is “good” for Miles is different for me because I am not Miles and he is not me. My wants and needs are different from his and
Same for you WIDITS. Your friend needs to learn the skills he has. You can also learn these. The only difference is when you learn these things and when he learns them … and that is only part of your personal journey. Acquiring skills later than others does not make you inferior to them. It just means you learned it later than them. I
It means he’s practiced more than you… but that doesn’t matter because you don’t have to be perfect. You just
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